i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize