We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
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the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
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I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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