Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
