I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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