I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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