I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
