woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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