She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize