Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
