I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
