i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
