By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize