Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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