I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
no you cant smoke seaweed
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
