my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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