Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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