The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
