Where is the hickey?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
