My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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