Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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