my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
