Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
