you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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