First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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