Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
