My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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