If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
