I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
