maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
