You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
