Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My vagina is very pro this idea
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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