You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
