Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
