Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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