his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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