we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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