singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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