I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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