it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
