Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
