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I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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