you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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