i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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