I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The air was thick with penises
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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