my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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