i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize