first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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