dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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