My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize