dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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