I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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