we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
sex in a hospital.. check
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize