do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
