THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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