Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
