your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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