I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
