HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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