was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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