I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Can you bring me the toilet please
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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