I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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