Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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